Journey 3 · Grief
You Don’t Have to Let It All Out
A review found no evidence that sharing or expressing emotions helps people adjust to a loss in normal bereavement.
Researchers have tested the old advice to express grief fully. A review found no evidence that sharing or expressing emotions helps people adjust to a loss in normal bereavement. A separate study, of New York college students after the September 11 attacks rather than grievers, found that those who could both amplify and hide their emotional expression on cue in a lab task reported less distress by the end of their second year of college.
Hiding isn’t cost-free either: in a lab study, women asked to hide their facial expressions while watching sad or funny film clips showed more cardiovascular arousal in the moment. So the research doesn’t point to one right amount of expression, and one study hints that flexibility, being able to do both, may matter. Quiet grievers aren’t doing it wrong.
In Journey 3, Grief, with Soraya, you turn toward the feeling in doses, and you’re also allowed to set it down. What would one small dose look like today?
The research
Growing evidence Real research that's still building — results are promising and still being tested.
- Stroebe, W., Schut, H., & Stroebe, M. S. (2005). Grief work, disclosure and counseling: Do they help the bereaved? Clinical Psychology Review, 25(4), 395–414.
- Bonanno, G. A., Papa, A., Lalande, K., Westphal, M., & Coifman, K. (2004). The importance of being flexible: The ability to both enhance and suppress emotional expression predicts long-term adjustment. Psychological Science, 15(7), 482–487.
- Gross, J. J., & Levenson, R. W. (1997). Hiding feelings: The acute effects of inhibiting negative and positive emotion. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 106(1), 95–103.
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