Journey 6 · Empowerment
Caring for Others vs. Giving Yourself Away
Psychologists separate caring for others from focusing on others to the exclusion of yourself, and mostly correlational research links only the second with distress.
In a 1998 paper, Helgeson and Fritz set out a theory of unmitigated communion: focusing on others to the exclusion of yourself. In the research on it, that pattern, unlike caring for others itself, is linked with distress. Most of that evidence is correlational, so it shows a link, not a cause. To be clear, caring for others isn’t the problem; the goal is care that includes yourself.
Assertiveness, saying what you want and don’t want clearly and respectfully, can be taught. A 2018 review by Speed, Goldstein and Goldfried describes assertiveness training’s long record as an evidence-based approach, much of it from older trials.
Journey 6, Empowerment, guided by Rayo, sees a boundary as empowerment said out loud: clear, kind, and yours. What is one kind, plain request you could make this week?
The research
Growing evidence Real research that's still building — results are promising and still being tested.
- Helgeson, V. S., & Fritz, H. L. (1998). A theory of unmitigated communion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2(3), 173–183.
- Speed, B. C., Goldstein, B. L., & Goldfried, M. R. (2018). Assertiveness training: A forgotten evidence-based treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 25(1), e12216.
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